In this episode, Ellen Violette, award-winning book coach and Grammy-nominated songwriter, shares how to make better decisions using the 10-10-10 method, so you don’t get hijacked by your emotions and/or what is most urgent at the moment and instead focus on what you want most instead of what you want right now to insure that you get it!
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Here is something to contemplate the next time you’re tempted by immediate gratification: “Don’t give up what you want most for what you want now.” On this episode of The Books Open Doors™ Podcast, host, Ellen Violette, shares with us a set of insights that are transformational – if we work them! She is looking at life through a simple but powerful 10-10-10 framework that takes us out of the moment and into the big picture. It’s a perspective she has learned the hard way, so we don’t have to!
Bringing to fruition dreams such as writing a book or sustaining a business requires intentionality and a plan. The alternative is all too familiar: avoidance, procrastination, endless delay and disappointment. That’s why Ellen is sharing her personal experience with a step-by-step process that lifts goals out of emotional immediacy, reframing them through a methodical series of questions: What are the consequences if you go for your dream? What are the consequences if you do not? How will you feel not just today but in the months and years ahead? Whether we acknowledge it or not, the shape of all our tomorrows is dictated by how we choose to consider our long-term landscape right now.
The 10-10-10 grid method that Ellen breaks down for us places big ambitions in a concrete context: The next 10 minutes, 10 months and 10 years. If becoming the author of a book or series of books is the dream, it’s up to us to create the roadmap for getting there. With warmth and honesty, Ellen is here to show us exactly how it’s done!
• “How you make decisions determines your life … and can also determine whether or not you become an author.”
• “It takes time to get organic traffic and traction. If you’re in a hurry, do paid advertising.”
• “Anything you want – any big vision – isn’t going to happen overnight.”
• “I have regrets that I would not have if I’d used this (10-10-10) rule.”
• “I didn’t think about the 10 years ahead. I just kept doing it and doing it and doing it, and then finally I got so exhausted … that it occurred to me I needed an offramp. I needed a
vision as to where I was going with my business. It couldn’t just be this treadmill.”
• “Bottom Line: I wish I’d known this 10-10-10 way of thinking years ago, so I’m sharing it with you now so you can make better decisions throughout your life.”
• “Your short-term emotions might think something feels good … without thinking about the consequences later. But when you think about the mid- and long-term, it helps you to see what you
really want in your life.”
• “You want to make your decision not on whether something just feels good in the moment but what is going to be the consequence down the line.”
• “Imagine what your life could be like if you had a vision and you started creating it by making better decisions; decisions that led you to your ideal life.”
• Step #1 – It always starts out with the decisions you make. Are you intentional?
• Ellen confides that she spent a number of years living “by the seat of (her) pants,” which wasn’t optimal. She has learned some hard lessons, which she’s here to share! You don’t have to
be at the mercy of short-term thinking. The 10-10-10 method offers an alternative to help you envision and anticipate a decade or more into the future.
• Step #2 – Come to terms with the fact that organic growth requires patience and doesn’t necessarily occur on your timetable.
• About the 10-10-10 framework, a series of questions to guide decision-making:
o How is this going to affect me in 10 minutes? Ten months? Ten years?
o What do you want your ideal day to look like?
o What goals do you have?
o What’s your long-term vision?
• A seemingly simple decision to step away from her successful music career and relocate from LA to San Diego has cost Ellen in ways she did not anticipate – but could have had she
implemented an 10-10-10 examination prior to making the move.
• What’s applicable to life is also applicable to authoring a book: You can’t have a 10-minute timeframe. If you’re only looking at the short term – the next social media post or email or
conversation – you’ll never achieve your long-term goals.
• It’s easy for entrepreneurs to get stuck in short-term thinking and cycles that over time cause overwhelm and burnout. You’ve got to envision – then design – your offramp. Anticipatory
strategies need to be built into any business plan. If you’re interested in a deeper dive, click here to listen to Ellen’s “Stop the Hustle” podcast interview with Megan Johnson Huber.
• If writing a book is something you want to achieve, NOW is the time to look ahead and work backwards from that long-term goal. Otherwise? It will never happen. There will always be
immediate diversions and distractions.
• Ellen shares a fascinating anecdote about her real-world experience with handily meeting a restrictive book deadline – and how she did it.
• The 10-10-10 framework’s secret sauce: It forces you to step back and assess your decisions from the vantage of three different viewpoints. From there it becomes far easier to tease out
variables, balance what’s realistic and the role you’re ready to play.
• Without long-term thinking, we’re easily sucked into a vortex of short-term, immediate gratification that doesn’t advance us towards our dreams.
• Take a look at the big picture:
o Recognize and name the immediate need. (For example: I’d like to write a book.)
o Evaluate possible ways to satisfy that need. (In the case of a book, does it need to be long, short, a booklet? What will it do for you that other things will not?)
o Make the decision – and then reflect on and commit to the choice. (Imagine yourself looking back, was the effort worth it? Should I have written a book?)
• How to create a 10-10-10 grid that will interrupt emotional decision-making:
o Consideration #1: What happens if I proceed?
o Consideration #2: What happens if I don’t?
• Reaching long-term vision and goals requires you to stop looking for instant gratification.
• Stay focused on this advice from Richard G. Scott, “Don’t give up what you want most for what you want now.”
Ellen is a multiple #1 bestselling author, award-winning book and business coach, host of the Books Open Doors Podcast, CEO of Books Open Doors Author Services & Grammy-nominated songwriter. She works with creative professional trainers, coaches, founders, and speakers, who want to write a bestseller and 100% of her private clients are #1 bestselling authors. And once they have their book they will be able to use them to make a bigger impact in the world, open doors to unlimited opportunities, make more money and leave a lasting legacy.