In this episode, Verene Potocnik shares how Emotional Freedom Technique (EFT) can help founders, CEO’s, coaches, consultants, speakers, and entrepreneurs overcome the challenges they face in business as well as in their personal life, and to bust through any blocks they have that are frustrating them from reaching their goals and finding the success they desire by using this technique.
Episode 27 for more tips & strategies on dealing with the holidays
To discover how to tap watch this video I had Verena make for you!
(It’s a few minutes into the video)
3 Key Points
EFT can help you get to the root of the problem and then emotions become your allies not your enemies
Deal with your emotions don’t try to hide from them.
Sometimes, you need to break down an issue or challenge into micro-issues or micro-challenges.
Transcript (Time stamp coming soon.)
Ellen: Hi everybody, and welcome to episode 29 today, my guest is Vena Potocnik….
So Verena, Welcome to the call. I’m excited to have you. People won’t know this unless I tell them. Verena has been one of my author mastermind groups, and so I know her, and I know what she does, and it’s very powerful and she’s really good at it.
Verena: Thank you.
Ellen: You’re welcome. And I thought, with the holidays upon us and everything that we want to make it as, what’s the word I’m looking for, as stress-free as possible and as easy for entrepreneurs to get through the holidays. And I thought it would be great to bring EFT to entrepreneurs. So, I want to start by asking you, first of all, what is EFT tapping, and how did you become interested in it?
Verena: Well, EFT tapping, if this stands for Emotional Freedom Techniques is a very effective process. And I think in very simple way, I could describe it as a combination of acupressure and psychology. And it’s really an excellent tool to overcome all sorts of emotional blocks, fears and negative beliefs, actually, any issue that is triggered by emotions. And I became acquainted with EFT a long time ago actually in, 2010.
I had heard about it before, but I never really tried it. And then, on that day, in the afternoon, I was sitting at my desk doing something and all of a sudden I felt a sharp pain in my right knee and there really had been no injury. So, as I was looking for a solution, I decided to give EFT a try. And it soon became obvious that the pain was related to my emotions- negative emotions especially my anger. I had had lots of anger issues, and I decided right away if there is a course on EFT, I want to learn it and I want to use it professionally.
Ellen: I can’t imagine you’ve been angry. You’re such a sweet person.
Verena: I look sweet, b actually there are lots of things going on inside them. Yeah, no, I’ll have layers.
Ellen: We all have all the emotions. Yeah. So I would love to ask you… we’re going to get into what you do and how you do it and everything, but what I’d like to ask you first is how do you think entrepreneurs can use EFT?
Verena: Oh, they can use it in so many different ways. Well, first of all, they need to see what they struggle with and to overcome those struggles. For example, one of the issues I think for entrepreneurs is that they lack clarity. Does it sound familiar?
Verena: If you don’t know what to focus on, what projects need to be need priority, this is definitely one thing that EFT can help with. And I believe there is lots of fear in general when it comes to entrepreneurs. For example, just like in the coaching space, launching a program can be scary. So EFT can help with that. Then maybe picking a niche; that’s a huge thing because I believe every single entrepreneur, in the beginning, says, “Well, I want to help everyone.” or “I want to serve anyone.” Or, “My product is for everyone.” But in fact, it’s not. So, finding your niche, getting clear on that is definitely an area that they can benefit from.
Ellen: I want to let people know, they might hear some weird sounds on this one. Why don’t you tell people where you’re calling in from,
Verena: From Slovenia and it’s [8:30] in the evening now.
Ellen: Right. And it’s 11 o’clock in the morning now. I’m doing that. So this is an international call. So, there are definitely some odd sounds here and there but bear with us. So, will EFT work for procrastination?
Verena: Oh yes, definitely. And it’s very interesting that you brought this up because procrastination is actually the first big issue I started to work on when I first got involved in EFT because it has always been a problem for me. And at the time, I bought every course on procrastination I could find. So, I, I just studied to see how I.. started by looking for reasons why I procrastinate so much, and I started to look for reasons why I procrastinate so much and I went all the way to my childhood, what it was like me as a child who was a procrastinator in my family, how it was manifested.
I even did some prenatal tapping on the time when my mother was pregnant with me because actually some of the issues started that early. And I can tell you that once I tapped on how I was born, how my mother actually procrastinated on going to a hospital, I resolved the issue about 50%. So, yeah, it’s good to, to look for how this is manifested in their lives and just look for ways for, yeah. How it’s manifested and where it comes from, and then deal with it.
Ellen: Yeah, procrastination is a really big problem for a lot of entrepreneurs also. Also, I find with authors the fear of failure, but also the fear of success. What do you think about that?
Verena: It’s another topic I’ve been thinking of a lot recently and I’ve even going to write an article about it. I think that when people say this is fear of failure or success, it’s too general, it’s like when somebody is overweight and you say, “Oh, you just need to start eating healthy.” Right? You need to be more specific. So instead of calling it a fear of failure or of success, I would suggest coming up with a list of downsides of getting what you want and really, really getting down into as many details as possible, so, every reason you can come up with. And on the other hand, come up with all the upsides of why it’s good for you to stay where you are. In this way, you can come up with lots of different micro fears that are actually much more realistic and much easier to work on.
Do you see?
One of the things, for example, it could be “If my book is successful and I get a lot of emails, and I won’t have the time to reply to all of them, what will I do?” Or, “If I have to go on a book tour and my family life will suffer because of it. Or, if you do it as a side hustle and there still isn’t enough income, how will you be able to do it with your work? Or, that could be this huge one. “What if people don’t like my book and all this work will be in vain?” All these micro fears are actually much more important.
Ellen: So let me ask you, how could someone use EFT to feel more abundant?
Verena: Well, again, I would suggest at the beginning to just define what abundance means to you. Is it just something related to money or is it something else?
And, very often, it is something else as well. If it’s the money, it’s very important to again look for patterns and for the beliefs you have around money. For example, it has been my issue for so long. I don’t have the money, so no matter what I did, how much I made, in the end, I would always be without money. So, you need to look for patterns, you need to look for old memories, original memories somebody has around money. Then also regional memories. How did people around you in your family speak about money? then You also need to look for ways how you behave.
What, when I say old memories, there is the most obvious one. Like for me, it was, “I don’t have the money.” But then, there are some other, again, micropatterns. For me what happens is that I have always been really reluctant, even rebellious to budgeting. So, no matter how sensible it is to budget, how to sit down, see how much you make and just divide the money properly so that you cover all your expenses and see how much you can spend on other things. I would never do that. So, this is a micro issue and you can tap on, being, feeling abundant or wanting to make more money, but if you don’t address these micro issues, you won’t really succeed in the end.
Or another issue for me has been when I have the money I spend it. That’s so is this feast and famine. And again, it’s a micro issue and unless I address it, nothing will work. So, money is definitely one. And then, abundance in general. Where else do you feel you’re not abundant? And I believe it starts with each and every individual. How do you feel about yourself? How do you see yourself? Are you okay with yourself? Do you feel you are enough or there is always something missing? Something you need to improve either with your character, your body, whatever.
Ellen: Yeah. Or, you’ll be happier when you get “X”, right. You’ll be happier later when this happens or when that happens. That kind of thing.
Ellen: Somehow it’s like after you get to the success then you’ll get the happiness as opposed to being happy in the journey and that brings success.
Verena: Uh-huh. So you really need to get friends with the idea that you are enough, and then there is enough. And for most people, and I can definitely relate with it, is at the beginning you are not aware of it, right? So, you can’t really start working on it because you don’t know it exists.
And what EFT can do is, and I’ve already said it before, it can help you get clear on things- to see what the situation is like, where you are and what advantage is when you do tapping, you can’t lie to yourself. You can no longer fool yourself. So, you can become very clear on where you are. It can also become very clear on what you need to do because all the answers are inside of us. And, at the same time, you can also tackle the root cause of the issue.
For example, if you believe you’re not enough, where does it come from? And you can deal with it again. So, actually, you can use tapping for every single aspect you need to get rid of the problem.
Ellen: So, you have to have courage.
Verena: Oh definitely. Definitely.
Ellen: So let me ask you this, “What do you say to people who are having blocks?”
Verena: I first need to diagnose what the blocks are and then we just work on that. Can you be more specific?
Ellen: If somebody is having blocks and they feel like they need help, what do you say to them in terms of how you can help them?
Verena: What I say is that with this tool, I can help them get to the root cause of their blocks. They can also learn to finally tune into their emotions because this is not something we are good at, people in general. So, they can start tuning into their emotions, and they can start getting to know their emotions and work with them so that their emotions become their allies, not their enemies. And by that, I mean there are lots of situations when an emotion comes up and we want to suppress it when we have it. Or, we say, “Oh, I really shouldn’t be thinking or feeling that way.” So, I try to explain that I can help people dealing with that, and when they don’t know what the blocks are, we can work around it as well.
Ellen: I’m having a little bit of trouble here with the echo, but I want to talk a little bit about the holidays because we are in the holiday season, and it’s interesting because I just did a podcast a couple of weeks ago on, overcoming depression during the holidays. And we talked about how sometimes entrepreneurs have trouble fitting in with their families because their families don’t understand entrepreneurship and how that can cause anxiety and depression for them. So, do you have any tips for the holidays, for dealing with family and staying in your truth, but still, being able to get along with everybody?
Verena: Well, I would suggest tapping on their emotions and not hiding from them. So, the first step could be just writing the emotions down, where they are, and then do some tapping on where they feel as simple as that. So if it’s like, sometimes it’s even anger and resentment, I would say. When you do something, you really want your loved ones to support you, right? You can resent them in the sense, “Well, if they really loved me, as much as they say why is it so hard to, to see what I’m doing?” Maybe, imagine themselves in my shoes or “Why aren’t they able to see that I’m doing it for them?” And so on. So, the resentment in this sense could be one of the issues and anger. It could also be a lack of communication. What, for example, if the family members have a valid reason for not supporting you, but you are the one who doesn’t want to listen to them?
And if you do some tapping on that, you may become clear on your own issues or where you are to blame and how you can improve it. So yeah, this would be the beginning of it. Write down what you’re feeling, what do you have issues with? And just tap on that, and you need to be as precise as possible and you shouldn’t hold yourself back in the sense that you shouldn’t censor yourself. You know, thinking, “Oh, I’m not supposed to say this. I’m not supposed to feel it.” And so on.
Ellen: Yeah. That’s a hard one when you feel like you’re not supposed to feel it.
Verena: Yeah. But again, this is the reason why we have so many issues. Why it takes us so long to overcome something because we are not friends with our emotions.
Ellen: Absolutely. That was huge for me as a kid. I always felt like I wasn’t supposed to feel what I was feeling.
Verena: And it’s normal because we have been taught in this way. Even nowadays, I see that even parents who really do their best to be supportive, to show respect to their children; every now and then they would say, “Oh, it’s not right to feel it” or “You’re not feeling that” or remarks like this that are may be random. But, in the end, they teach everyone from an early age that there are some emotions that are okay and some that are not, and you shouldn’t be feeling something, and you should be feeling something even when you don’t, and so on.
Ellen: So this has been really great. I want to talk just a little bit more about your practice specifically. So, first I want to know, did EFT help you in coming up with your niche?
Verena: Yes, definitely. On the one hand, it was my own experience with EFT that means different stages I’ve been through that somehow made me think, “Oh, maybe I could work with this or I could work with that.” And the more progress I made, the clearer it became for me where I want to work, in which area, and why. So, it was definitely very helpful.
Ellen: When you work with people, how does that work?
Verena: I work online. So far, I’ve only been offering one-on-one services, but I’m actually planning to create a beta version of my first course showing people how to overcome physical symptoms of nervousness.
Ellen: What do you think makes you different?
Verena: Well, it’s the actual fact that I, I work with emotions because what most people don’t realize that for example, the fear of speaking or any kind of fear is emotional. However, what most people who teach others how to overcome the fear concentrate on is rational. Things like strategy such as, I don’t know, be prepared but don’t look people in the eyes if it makes you nervous or imagine was the worst thing that can happen. Things like this.
But all of this is a rational, but and it doesn’t really tackle the root cause of the fear. And it is helpful to some extent, but there are lots of people, for example, who are so paralyzed by the mere thought of speaking in front of others that won’t even think of using these strategies because the fear is too strong. So, what are you doing in those cases?
You really need something to tap into the emotions, into the root cause. And this is something I can do with EFT. And actually I have a four-step process “D” for define,“ A” for acknowledge, “R” for reframe and E for Excel. And defining means, what do you actually feel? And get very specific. Don’t hide from these feelings and that’s the second step. Acknowledging it. Don’t be afraid of how you feel, why you feel it and just let it be expressed. And then, to reframe because either you let go of the feeling or you can turn it around so that it starts working for you. And, of course, as a consequence, you can excel in anything you do.
And since I work with emotions I concentrate on or I cover three key areas I believe are important for speaking and did it. This is how to master your body, which means physical symptoms of nervousness, how to master your thoughts, negative thoughts such as “I’m not good enough, there is nothing I can share,” and so on, and also your expectations.
Since so many people are perfectionists, they may have expectations that are too high for the level where they are. And this by itself is paralyzing. So again, I can have them go around it and deal with it.
Ellen: So, where can people go? What’s your website?
Verena: My website is Speak up and Shine and this is where I will put the link to the course.
Ellen: Okay, awesome. And what are the other ways that they can reach you?
Verena: They can reach me through, Facebook either my personal profile https://www.facebook.com/verena.potocnik or my page @speakupandshine, which is Speak up and Shine as well, or through my LinkedIn.
Ellen: Great. So, anybody who’s having an issue, I highly suggest reaching out to Verena and letting her help you. So, thank you so much for joining me today. Verena.
Verena: You’re welcome. Thank you, really, for having me. I have really enjoyed it, so thank you very much!
Ellen: You’re welcome. So, that’s it for today. Be sure to listen to Episode 27 if you need tips and strategies for getting through the holidays www.booksbusinessabundance.com/podcast/27
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