Episode 98: How to Kick Imposter Syndrome to The Curb and Start Living Your Best Life! (Part 1)

October 19, 2021

In this episode, communications expert, Ell Graniel, shares how childhood incidents can become part of your belief system about who you are and what you can accomplish and keep you from writing your book and reaching for your dreams. She also shares how you can change those beliefs and, therefore, the course of your life as a full-functioning amazing adult, so that you can live an amazing life!

Resources mentioned

Contact Ell Graniel

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3 Key Points

When things happen before we’re emotionally capable to handle them, they scar us.

We are told things as a kid that we incorporate into our image of ourselves whether they are true or not.

You have the power to change your life.


Ellen ([00:01]): You’re listening to the Books Open Doors podcast, episode 98. Today I’m talking with Ell Graniel about imposter syndrome, so let’s do this.

Music: Welcome to the Books Open Doors podcast. Are you a mission-driven speaker, coach, consultant, thought leader, creative entrepreneur, or author who wants more credibility, financial abundance, and wants to make a bigger impact in the world, and leave a lasting legacy, and who wants to have fun doing it? Then stay tuned for today’s inspiring podcast with your host, Ellen Violette.

Ellen  ([00:39]): Today, my guest is Ell Graniel. Ell Graniel is a communication expert whose passion for leadership ignited over three decades ago working as a manager for a 24-hour fitness, and keynote speaker for influential companies like Beachbody. Her history spans over 25 years with research in the neuroscience behind synapses, RET receptor and the reward center of the brain.


She has a degree in communications, training and certifications in neuro-linguistic programming, negotiation, personality type predictors and authored three international best-selling books. Her most recent being The Team Whisperer. She’s the creator of Truespeak, her interpersonal communication training company, and resides in Honolulu, Hawaii. Welcome to the call, Ell.

Ell  ([01:30]): Thank you. So happy to be here. Very happy.

Ellen  ([01:34]): Well, I’m so jealous because you’re in Hawaii. One of my favorite places on earth. Have you always been there?

Ell  ([01:42]): I’ve been here almost 18 years now.

Ellen  ([01:46]): Wow.

Ell  ([01:46]): It’s definitely home. I’m from California, born and raised in Northern California and then Southern California for 25 years before coming here. This feels like home.

Ellen  ([01:58]): Oh, okay. I love what you do. I got to experience you in Ken Krell’s PRIDE event one time, and then we just started talking and really hit it off. I was looking for somebody actually for my Write the Bestseller is Seven Days boot camp to come talk about imposter syndrome and we didn’t quite connect in time to do that. I thought instead, I would love to have you on the podcast. Why don’t you tell us how you got into this and then we’ll get into the imposter syndrome.

Ell  ([02:35]): Okay. I’m so blessed for this opportunity, so thank you for keeping me top of mind.

Ellen ([02:42]): My pleasure.

Ell ([02:43]): I got into this, I would say accidentally, like a lot of people sometimes fall into things, and it started with me being raised poor in a trailer park. I say I’m a graduate of domestic violence and drug and alcohol and sexual abuse. But those things led me to want to get out and to get more. I was the first one in my family, and definitely in the trailer park, to go away to college, which was good to leave the area. I went like 600 miles away, got my degree.

([03:18]): Then that was when Tony Robbins … I knew him as Anthony Robbins back then, was in his heyday. I was exposed for the first time to personal development, so to speak, and that’s when I learned that you have all the power. We give it away all the time when we blame the government or our parents, or you know that kind of thing. We’re giving away our power.

Ell ([03:44]): That was just the beginning, back in the ’80s, of me realizing that not only do we have the power, but it’s all right here. We’re the creators of everything that we desire, and unfortunately things we don’t desire all starts with our thoughts and clarity of the thoughts. Then that led me to neuroscience and all of that kind of thing.

([04:01]): Now here I am three decades later, passionately my rooftop message is that you have the power. My motto is, say what you want, the truth is in you. I help people connect with their truth so that they’re aligned and they travel more like this instead of like this through life.

Ellen ([04:19]): Oh my God, I love that. I love that. I’ll tell you, it’s so funny and so true. I just wrote something about this in my newsletter. What happened was that I used to have a world-class recording studio in the house that I grew up in, and when my parents passed away, I had to sell the house, and with that went my recording studio and my living, such as it was.

([04:46]): Anyway, but I kept the keyboard and I had the keyboard for a few more years, and my husband kept telling me to sell the keyboard, and I did not want to sell the keyboard. At that point, I was getting into my business and I let him pressure me into selling the keyboard. Well, here’s the thing, I mean, I never stopped wanting to do music, and over the years, I mean, I made almost a million dollars and I never bought another keyboard until this last month, I bought a keyboard.

([05:23]): All of a sudden I said to myself, “What I did was just crazy. Why did I let him …” Well, I say, “Why did I let him pressure me?” But the truth is what I came to is exactly what you just said. I did it. I did it. I let that happen. There were so many times I could have bought a keyboard between now then, it’s ridiculous. I mean, we’re talking about over 25 years this went on. I was like, “Oh my God.”

([05:58]): I said to him, I said, “I feel like Dorothy in Kansas.” It’s like, “Oh my God, I had the power all along.” I didn’t realize it, or I didn’t take it back. I just kept it out there and then I just kept seething about it. It’s like, that’s crazy.

Ell  [06:16]): It is.

Ellen ([06:18]): I mean, I just … Huh?

Ell ([06:19]): It is, and unhealthy was what I was going to chime in by saying that. Yeah.

Ellen  ([06:24]): Yeah. Yeah. I love that, that you have the power all along, because that is what happens. We get these blind spots or we get these thoughts in our heads and we think, “I can’t do, or I can’t have.” Or whatever, and it’s just your mind telling you that and it’s not true.

Ell Graniel ([06:39]): It’s not. I always like to share in a really concise way. There’s a story about how they train elephants. The baby elephant is tethered when they’re little and so when they’re babies, they can’t get away. Then a little bit thicker tether, but there’s a point in time when the elephant’s full grown. There’s no stake in the ground that could hold an elephant, but it doesn’t believe that.

([06:59]): Hence, we don’t believe. Because of the right kind of previous training at a young age, we learn these caps and these ceilings and these things and we still believe they’re true, even though we are these fully functioning, amazing women, and so breaking free usually it’s just one thing that we’ll do it. Like one day you decided, “I’m getting a keyboard.”

Ellen Violette ([07:23]): Well, I’ll tell you what happened. I was feeling really sad and I was feeling just really … I was just feeling bad and I’m going, “Why do I feel like this?” I’ve done a lot of reading on being successful and all that kind of stuff. What happened when I first started my business, was well, you have to focus on one thing. You have to focus on one thing, so I felt like I couldn’t do the music because I had to focus on the business.

([07:49]): I’m reading this book called We Should All Be Millionaires, and one of the things that she talks about is if you want the fastest path to being a millionaire, you have to focus on one thing in your business. She says but if you’re a multi-passionista that doesn’t mean you can’t do it on the weekends. It’s like, you can do both.

Ellen ([08:06]): You just can’t do both all the time and you have to have one focus in your business. I kind of … I can’t think of the word right now, but that devolved into somehow that I couldn’t do it.

Ell ([08:21]): Right. Passionista. I love that word.

Ellen ([08:26]): Yeah.

Ell ([08:27]): I love that word.

Ellen  ([08:28]): Multi-passionate. Yeah. One of my clients and friends and colleagues, Terri Babers says that too. Her thing is multi-passionistas. Yeah. Because … And she talks about like DaVinci, and look at all the different things that he did. There are people who do multiple things, but as Oprah would say, not all at the same time, maybe. I don’t know. Yeah.

Ell  ([08:51]): Or you know the famous 80/20 rule. We’re putting 80% of our passion into one area with a ton of energy and focus and direction. Then we have what … I like the term that’s been coined recently, side hustle. We have a hustle that’s really fun and lights us up and we just see where it’s going to go, but this is the focus.

Ellen ([09:11]): Yeah. Well, that was the thing, is I finally got to the point of realizing I need to be relit and that was when I got the keyboard. What do you think about imposter syndrome? Where does it come from?

Ell ([09:24]): Imposter syndrome is … So we talked a little bit about the beliefs, right? Where we were trained or led to believe things at a young age. Imposter syndrome is actually not really a bad thing in a way. I call it the bully in our brain or the hamster wheel that we can get stuck in. What happens is just like as humans, we’re physically able to handle things as we develop, right?

Ell ([09:53]): If I tossed a 20-pound bag of flour at a four-year-old, it would knock them over and they would fall down. But if I tossed you a 20-pound bag of flour, hopefully I gave you some heads-up, but you could catch it and deal with it. When we are growing, just like physical abilities that we grow into, there are emotional things that we grow into that we become capable of.

Ell ([10:19]): When things happen before we’re emotionally capable to handle them, they scar us. These parts get created to protect us from that never happening again. If say you’re in third grade and unfortunately that’s the year you have that one horrible teacher. We have all have had amazing teachers and we’ve had not-so-amazing teachers.

Ell ([10:41]): That’s the year that you raise your hand and the teacher humiliates you, and a few times that happens so you begin to realize, “I’m not a front-row person. If I raise my hand, I get humiliated. When I think I know what I’m doing, I don’t.” These things start getting piled on to us. Then 30, 40, 50 years later, you’re still not a front-row person.

Ell ([11:03]): You still won’t raise your hand. You still won’t share what you know, because that part was created and so it thinks it’s protecting you by allowing you not to raise your hand and show up as a front-row person. That’s what the imposter syndrome is. It’s just parts of us that were created to protect us when we were emotionally unable to handle what was put on us at the time.

Ellen ([11:30]): Well, how do you know if you are being affected by it?

Ell ([11:36]): Yeah. I love that question because sometimes we are being protected. How do you know if it’s the imposter voice saying you’re not capable versus the imposter voice saying you’re not capable? Are both of those a lie? The way you can tell is when the imposter speaks, it’s like this and condescending or looking down. Whereas if it’s just the voice that’s meant to protect you, it’s going to have a little more clarity.

Ell ([12:08]): Kind of like how you feel if you’re walking to your car in a parking lot, and it’s dark. You get that voice like, “Perk up. Pay attention.” That’s not imposter syndrome saying, “Watch out, you’re going to get attacked.” That’s just the voice that’s there to help keep you aware. Whereas the imposter syndrome would kick in and be like, “Oh, you’re such an idiot for doing this right now. You should never be here when it’s dark.” You start getting this chastising voice.

Ellen ([12:35]): The parent. Yeah.

Ell  ([12:36]): Yeah. It affects you because these voices keep us playing small. On the outside, it can look like we’re doing well. We’re maybe happily married. Maybe we have children or raise children. We have a career. On the surface we look like everything’s all great, but inside we know it’s not. Inside we know we’re not writing music again, inside we know we’re not writing that book that we’ve been working on for over two years.

Ell  ([13:10]): These things get suppressed and then we feel like crap and then that makes us do things like drink or have junk food, or … It creates this really bad downward spiral when you let the imposter lead your life when you sit in the backseat and let the imposter drive.

Ellen ([13:27]): Well, we think we’re not safe. I mean, that’s like … It really stops us.

Ell  ([13:32]): Correct. Right. Because we’re hardwired for survival, right?

Ellen ([13:36]): Right. Right.

Ell ([13:36]): As human beings. It goes back to day one. We’re hardwired for survival, but things have changed so much. A long time ago, if you changed, you left the cave or the tribe or whatever, you probably died, or at least people thought you died because you never came back. However, maybe you thrived, they just never saw you again. We don’t know what happened. We just assumed.

Ell ([14:01]): Today, if you don’t go with change, it does kill us. Now the opposite is true. You need to be flexible. Things are changing so fast, you got to be able to get on board and be flexible so that you don’t get broke and stuck in the old ways of thinking or the way you do business.

Ellen ([14:18]): Yeah. You know how I know when I’m getting into that kind of thinking?

Ell ([14:23]): How?

Ellen ([14:23]):I get a stiff neck.

Ell ([14:24]): I love that.

Ellen ([14:26]): Louise Hay talks about that.

Ell  ([14:28]): Yes.

Ellen  ([14:28]): If you look through her healing book for your neck, it says something about, I need to be flexible and there’s always more than one way to look at a … or there’s always multiple ways to look at the solution to a problem. Yeah.

Ell  ([14:46]): Yeah. That’s beautiful. For me, it’s the hip and it’s like the hip is like saying, “It’s safe right where you are. Don’t have any movement.”

Ellen  ([14:58]): Yeah. I get that too sometimes. Yeah.

Ell ([14:59]): Good step. Yeah. That could be a bonus. That wasn’t one of the things I was going to talk about. No, but there you go. That’s a bonus tip. The Louise Hay heal your life, I think is what it’s called.

Ellen  ([15:09]): Yeah. Yeah.

Ell  ([15:12]): The first thing, and it’s so simple and it drives people crazy because this is my cornerstone, but it’s the breath. It starts with the breath. This is where the power and the control begins, because we can go so many days without food and water and survive, but we can only go minutes without the breathe. Luckily the breath is on autopilot. Could you imagine if we had to remember-

Ellen ([15:39]): To a degree, I just noticed I wasn’t breathing when you said that.

Ell ([15:43]): Yes. Absolutely. That’s exactly what I’m talking about. That’s what’s called survival breath. Thank goodness we survival breathe. You weren’t not breathing, right?

Ellen ([15:53]): Right. Right.

Ell ([15:53]): Just getting in enough to survive.

Ellen ([15:54]): I took a deep breath after you said that.

Ell ([15:57]): That’s my point exactly. Anytime we want to thrive versus survive, we sit down for a moment, or stand, and be mindful of the breath. We breathe in. This is the first tip for getting the imposter kicked out of the car, so to speak. Breathe in big, and allow yourself to expand, and then exhale longer, deeper and slower than you normally would.

Ell ([16:22]): Then here’s the trick, at the bottom when you think you’ve exhaled as much as you can, push a little more, and you’ll see there’s a little bit left to give, and then just relax. After that push don’t go whoosh. Just breathe a nice little breath and then be aware. That’s one way.

Ell ([16:40]): Then another way in the breath is to breathe in, in your head count to four, and feel it through the rib cage, and then exhale for six counts with the little push and relax, and then work on developing that to where you are at least a double. If you could breathe in for six, can you exhale for 12? Can you breathe in for eight? Can you exhale for 16?

As you’re developing that muscle and that ability to breathe deeper and fuller, you’ll get more oxygen in your body, which brings you to thrive, more oxygen in your brain, which helps get you to the alpha level of consciousness where the chatty mind isn’t like this so much. The breath is the first thing. It’s making the choice, “I don’t like how I’m feeling and I want to shift.”

If you would allow yourself just three rounds of mindful breathing, you will feel a sense of calm. Let’s do that right now for everybody. You could have eyes closed, if it’s safe, not if you’re driving, otherwise close your eyes and we’re going to breathe in four, three, two, and let’s just try six out seven, three, two, one little push and relax. Now let’s go in four again and exhale deep and full, three, two. If you’ve got it, push, relax.

Ell Graniel ([18:15]): Last one, deep and full and exhale, let go, and relax. Then open your eyes if they’re closed. Notice how you feel. There’s a sense of serenity and calmness that comes with having enough oxygen in our brain.

Ellen ([18:41]): I have a question.

Ell ([18:42]): Yes.

Ellen ([18:42]): When you breathe out, do you breathe through your mouth or your nose?

Ell ([18:45]): You can do either. Sometimes, people are challenged and they can’t breathe solely through the nose. I like to breathe in just through the nose and then exhale mouth open.

Ellen  ([18:58]): Yeah. That’s what I was doing. Mouth open.

Ell ([18:59]): Yeah, because you can let go more with the mouth open, whereas the nasal passages are smaller. Good question. Also, notice that isn’t it odd if you think about it, that we can exhale twice as long as we can inhale? It’s because we just have so much to let go of, whereas the breath in brings the healing, the love and the light that is ours in abundance.

Then exhaling allows us to become center here and now, and when we get really calm, Ellen, that’s a time when you might feel like the pain in the neck or the hip or something, and that’s your body’s physically way of telling you, “Hey, in this moment, I’d like to share this with you.” Be mindful about how you’re feeling and what you can do about it. Is there something you can do about it?

Maybe you can just hop on the floor and do some stretches, just roll around or roll the body or … And one of my favorite things to do after those three breaths, which takes less than a minute, is to just say to your body, “Thank you. I love you.” Really let that vibrate. Let that love vibrate and just be so grateful for this temple that houses our beautiful soul.

The breath is the first, and to me, the easiest, and it’s free. You can do it anytime, anywhere to get those thoughts out of your head and get some clear thinking for a moment.

Ellen ([20:31]): I love your voice too when you do it. It’s so calming.

Ell ([20:34]): Oh, thank you. I feel blessed that I have a deep voice. I have been on the phone. People thought I’m the man of the house or they call me Mr. Graniel, but it’s okay. I also wanted to mention, when we do that breath, you’ll very often get a nice little message, so be mindful of the good news that can come through in the silence. If you get any chastising thing, then you know it’s like, “Thanks for sharing, but I’m not talking to you right now.”

The second thing then is to start journaling, which is why the work that you do is so valuable. I believe almost everybody on the planet has an amazing autobiography in them that needs to be written. Not to just dump it out of your head and to get it out onto the pages, but because somebody else is for sure going through a lot of the things you’re going through.

I mean, we like to think we’re unique, but there’s however many billions of people on the planet, and many of us are going through very, very, very similar circumstances. It gives people hope when they read the pages of somebody else having gone through these things and what they learned from it, because the whole process is, what are you learning?

([21:52]): Because if you don’t learn, just like in school, you have to repeat the grade. When you don’t learn life’s lessons, you get them again but they’re a little harder the next time and a little harder, until finally you say, “I get it. I’ve had enough. No more of this.” Right? You-

Ellen ([22:08]): Yeah. I think reading the right books is helping me with that a lot. I mean, I had problems with setting boundaries and being too nice, and we talked a little bit about that. Again, I mean, I know I’ll be on the podcast and I’ll talk a lot about the books that I’m reading, but there’s so much great knowledge out there that if you just pick it up and read it, you’re going to learn something.

That’s one of the reasons I love books, but that’s one of the things that she talks about in We Should All Be Millionaires, is you have to set boundaries. You have to, and say no to people. I love this. I mean, this is another one I used to see all the time and I didn’t really get it in the way that I get it now, which is no is a complete sentence.

Ell ([22:54]): Yeah.

Ellen ([22:54]): It’s like, you don’t need to justify yourself. You don’t need to … No. You have the right to say no. Again, I mean, we’re talking mostly to women here because men usually don’t have a problem with this stuff, but it’s how we’re socialized and the messages we get from everywhere. I’ve done several masterminds with a co-leader and every time we’ve done it, they’ve been co-ed groups. The women have issues with money every time, and setting boundaries, and doing what’s good for them.

I thought I was pretty immune and I found out I’m not. My history, oh my God. I mean, the things I went through. When I was a kid, the word bullying, nobody really talked about that. It wasn’t in the lexicon, but I got bullied and I didn’t even realize that that was a thing, you know? Yeah.

Ell ([23:52]): Yeah. I got made fun of because I was poor. My clothes, I lived in a trailer park. I didn’t realize I was being bullied. I just accepted that as that’s my life.

Ellen ([24:01]): Right. I was chubby and I wore braces and I had glasses and I was smart and all those things together, you know? Then I had the unfortunate name, Ellen, which rhymed with watermelon. Yeah. It was not good.

Ell ([24:18]): Now being a nerd is so hip. It’s such a [inaudible [00:24:24].

Ellen  ([24:23]): Well, I’m kind of an odd bird because I’m like half nerd, half creative. I kind of have both, you know?

Ell ([24:31]): You do. You have both-

Ellen ([24:31]): I never really-

Ell ([24:32]): … sides of the brain firing.

Ellen ([24:33]): Yeah. I never really quite fit in anywhere, which really is a good thing as you grow up, but when you’re growing up, it’s not.

Ell ([24:43]): I know. We want to belong [crosstalk [00:24:45] when we’re younger. Again, that’s where those parts get created. Part of us says, “Those people don’t like you, so don’t ever try to be with those people.” In school, those people are the popular people, but as adults, that means the successful people, the wealthy people. We feel like we don’t belong in that group.

([25:03]): A part of us, that bullied part, is protecting us from getting our feelings hurt. In the reality is we are capable of not having our feelings hurt, but we are now capable of processing our feelings saying like, “That was disappointing or that was frustrating, and this is what I’m going to do about it.” You just allow it as opposed to holding on to it.

Ellen ([25:25]): Well, one of the things I found interesting, I’m not sure where I read this, but it was talking about how we used to be … I think it might’ve been in the book where we used to be in tribes for survival. So, belonging was an important part of survival. Part of it is we think we need that to survive. We’ve got to be part of that group, or we’re emotionally not going to survive. You know?

Ell ([25:49]): Yeah. Absolutely.

Ellen ([25:50]): It’s not true.

Ell ([25:51]): It’s not true, and we’re allowed to be in multiple tribes. That wasn’t a thing back then.

Ellen ([25:57]): Right. Right.

Ell ([25:59]): We-

Ellen ([26:01]): It’s good. It’s good to be in multiple tribes because then you’ve got more places to pull from to connect other people and get new ideas and everything.

Ell ([26:09]): Especially for people like you, when you’re really strong in the creative and the logical side, you need at least two tribes, or you’re glass half empty, right? Either the smart side’s not getting fed or the creative side is not getting fed. Both sides need to be fed.

Ellen ([26:23]): Right. The frustrating part is when you’re an entrepreneur and you’re a lifetime learner and now you’re split, it’s like, well, your money wants to go here, but then your money wants to go there. You got two ways to spend your money. Yeah.

Ell ([26:39]): Yeah. I never thought of that before because I’m more of the creative … I’ve got more the creative than the logical side of the brain going.

Ellen ([26:47]): Yeah. Well, the reason I’m saying that, I’m thinking about that right now, is because I bought the keyboard. Now there’s a course I want to take, and now they’re going, “Okay. Well, now you need pro tools.” I’m like, “Oh, crap.” Now it starts. Okay. I got to get this and I got to get that. You know?

Ell ([27:00]): Yeah. That’s why we’re … Okay. The same rule would apply to finances. You’re allowed to spend 20% of your income on that project because it’s 20% of what you’re doing to create that nice round balance that is you.

Ellen ([27:15]): I like that. Thank you. Yeah.

Ell ([27:17]): You’re welcome. You’re talking about books a lot and I’ve written three books. In my last two books, what I wrote that I’d like to share with everybody is that reading self-help books saved my life, I feel like. However, we can do what I call shelf help. We read a book and it’s really passionate and it’s really motivating and we love it and we share the concepts with people and then we put it on the shelf and it’s like the words die and we don’t ever use them, because knowledge is not power. Applied knowledge is power.

Ellen ([27:54]): Right. Action.

Ell ([27:55]): Yeah. Knowing means crap if you’re not doing. It’s all about putting it out there. In my books, I always tell people, “You may not read another book on weight loss or management or whatever, motivation until you have done at least three of the concepts in this book.” I say that in different ways over and over throughout the books. Like, “You can’t move on to anything else until you can honestly-

Ellen ([28:25]): Oh, I like that.

Ell ([28:26]): … say, “I’ve done this. I live this book. I live this. We deserve to be millionaires because now I’m a millionaire.” Now I can go on and start reading other books. Yeah.

Ellen  ([28:37]): Well, I haven’t even finished it, but I plan to reread and reread it because it really is a roadmap. It’s a roadmap and there are exercises in there to do and no, I haven’t done all of them yet. Yeah.

Ell ([28:50]): I’m just challenging your listeners to be aware if you’re a shelf health person and you say, “Oh, yeah, I’ve read that. I’ve read that. I’ve read that.” But in your heart, you’re still a hot mess. You shouldn’t be. If you’ve read that many books, you should be feeling a whole lot better inside about yourself and how you’re choosing to live your life.

Ellen ([29:12]): Well, I’ll tell you, there are three books that I’ve read that are sort of like my cornerstones right now. This is not about the book writing. This is about just being in the right headspace to have a business, so that you can get to the book writing. The E-Myth by Michael Gerber, The ONE Thing by Gary Keller, and We Should All Be Millionaires by Rachel Rodgers. Those are my three … Those three things that I read in that order have made a huge difference for me.

Ell ([29:43]): I love how you said about the book you’re reading now because there’s exercises to do so. It just becomes you. It’s like how you think and how you speak and how you act. You know that it’s possible. That’s why you know you’re going to read this book more than once.

Ellen ([30:01]): Right. Because I know what you just said too, that you don’t read something once and absorb everything. You just don’t. I’ve even gone back reread some of the books I read a long time ago, but I’m in a different space now and I’m seeing different things in them. The Power of Focus is one of the ones that I like a lot.

Ell ([30:21]): Yeah. I think it was called, yeah, so Your Erroneous Zones by Dr. Wayne Dyer. Back in the day, when I was doing the self-help stuff, I belonged to this Nightingale-Conant motivational … It was like a book club, but you got cassettes. I’m dating myself. You got a cassette series once a month to listen to. These would be audio books back in the day. I got-

Ellen ([30:45]): We’re full circle now. Yeah. Yes.

Ell ([30:49]): This was back in the ’80s. I got Your Erroneous Zones. I was like, “Hmm.” It did not call to me. I did not … I was like, “This is poppycock.” Just nothing landed. Then fast-forward, maybe twenty years and I get the book and I buy it for myself and-

Ellen ([31:10]): Why were you even possessed to buy it again?

Ell ([31:13]): Because I forgot.

Ellen  ([31:14]): Oh, that you bought it?

Ell  ([31:15]): Yep.

Ellen Violette ([31:16]): I thought you were … Okay.

Ell Graniel ([31:17]): I totally forgot. Then hubby of course had to remind me, “That’s the series you sent back twenty years ago because you hated it so much.” I love that book so much. I bought twenty of them and it’s what everybody got for Christmas-

Ellen ([31:28]): Oh, wow.

Ell  ([31:29]): … that year. Then when he reminded me of it, I was like, “Wow. That’s a perfect example that I have evolved.” Because at the time I had no skill set to even be processing that knowledge. twenty years later I did,  and it was like … That’s one of the books that I’ve read and reread, and really, it also is a basis in imposter syndrome, obviously.

Ellen: Oh, okay.

Ell: So, Yeah. Yeah. We’re ready when we’re ready. What do they say? The teacher shows up when the student’s ready or the [crosstalk [00:32:02].

Ellen ([32:03]): Yeah, yeah. we’ve run out of time but be sure to join us next week when we’ll continue this conversation with El Grenel on imposter syndrome. You can get the transcript at booksopendoors.com/podcast/imposter

And if you missed the last Books Open Doors Insights #21 and you’re feeling overworked and frustrated go back and listen to it now and let your book do the heavy lifting for you so you can get more leads and. Passive income 24/7

We also added the Rockstar author’s toolkit on our website where you’ll get your Rapid Book Creation Checklist, your Secret title formula checklist, the Kindle planner to help you maximize your Amazon listing, and the 21 simple strategies to jumpstart your book marketing online checklist.

Ellen Violette ([32:31]):

I really want to encourage everybody to get it, even if you’re already an author. I know there are some goodies in there that you’ll find that maybe you haven’t thought about that will help do it better, faster, and/or make more money with it. Until next time, bye-bye

Ell Graniel ([32:46]): Aloha all.

Music ([32:47]): You’ve been listening to the Books Open Doors podcast, with your host, Ellen Violette. If you’d like to connect with other mission-driven speakers, coaches, consultants, thought leaders, founders, creative entrepreneurs, and authors who are changing the world one book at a time, join us in the Books Open Doors community at facebook.com/groups/booksopendoors. Let’s rock your business with books.



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About the Author

Ellen Violette

Ellen is an 3X award-winning book, including being named one of the Top 20 Book Coaches of 2022 by Coach Foundation. She's also a multiple #1 bestselling author, a 3-time eLit award winner, podcast host, and a Grammy-nominated songwriter. She has been helping entrepreneurs increase their credibility and expert status, become #1 bestselling authors, and make a bigger impact in the world since 2004. Her mission is to make the world a better place one author and one book at a time!



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