In this episode, Lorrel Elian shares how being out of touch with the mind-body connection almost killed her, how she healed,
and how she now teaches entrepreneurs to connect to their highest desires and live their dream life by re-connecting to themselves.
Full Focus Planner
3 Key Points
What’s going on in your personal life is going on in your business life so you need to figure out what is going on in your mind and body to grow your business.
Knowing yourself helps you to know who your ideal clients are and how to speak to them.
You must write your hero’s story- where you’ve been, your low points, your high points- your great comeback because it’s important in the structure of your book, and your message so that people connect with you.
Ellen: I’m Ellen Violette and you’re listening to Episode 103 of the
Books Open Doors Podcast On this episode I’ll be speaking with
Lorrel Elian. And we’ll be talking about attracting your ideal clients. So let’s do this
Music: Welcome to the Books Open Doors Podcast. Are you a mission-driven speaker, coach, consultant, thought leader, creative entrepreneur, or author who wants more credibility, financial abundance, and wants to make a bigger impact in the world and leave a lasting legacy, and who wants to have fun doing it? Then stay tuned for today’s inspiring podcast with your host, Ellen Violette.
[0:42] Ellen: We’re back. So Lorrel Elian is the creator of mind your business, client attraction, and somatic face therapy. She has a deep understanding of the body-mind connection and uses that approach in her coaching programs. Entrepreneurs hire her to discover how to make more money in their business by using strategies she teaches to attract their ideal clients and also to discover how they may be repelling clients and the money they bring into their business. So, she believes your body is your business. So, welcome to the call, Lorrel.
Lorrel: Thank you so much, Ellen. I’m so glad to be here.
Ellen: Well, we have been talking up a storm. We are so on the same wavelength, and I’m so excited to have you to talk about this today. Why don’t you tell people a little bit about your background before we get into it?
[1:36] Lorrel: Yeah. Thanks. So I’ve been an entrepreneur for over thirty years, and in the last decade, I often say I’ve been in therapy. I was in therapy because of the stress of my very busy real-estate career, I wasn’t prepared emotionally to be in real estate at the time of a boom-made a lot of money, but, lost my mind literally. And so, I had to search for a new way, and that’s how I came to be working with therapists and practitioners in business, teaching them the principles of psychosomatic therapy.
I’m an internationally accredited teacher of this practice. And it teaches people to understand how they’ve come to be in the shape they are in, which gives them a deeper understanding of why their life looks the way it does. So for the last decade, taking people into a twelve-day retreat environment to teach them the processes has taught me a lot about how what’s going on in your personal life is going on in your business life. And that really is a great segue into who is your ideal clients? Because a big part of it is who do you want to work with? Who do you want to attract?
[3:02] Ellen: Yeah, it’s interesting, I had a lot of psychosomatic illnesses growing up, so this is really of interest to me. And even when I got into therapy, talking didn’t do it, right? Cause I was still hiding from myself, right?
Ellen: Yeah, so, I had to get into more feeling in the body therapy. So, that’s why this is really important and interesting to me. And then the other part of it is that, you and I were talking about a little bit before we got onto the interview was that there’s so much to learn to attracting your ideal clients, and right?
And so, one of the things, when you say, “Well, who’s your ideal client?” People say they don’t know. That’s why it’s so important to just work with people. And the whole idea is like people think the chicken and the egg, you have to go get good and then you’re going to get clients, but you have to get clients in order to figure out what you’re doing, where you are, and what’s working and what isn’t working.
So, I worked with so many different niches and people in different areas before I could figure out who my ideal clients were. So, why don’t you talk a little bit to start about either one of those things like, which side do you want to start on?
[4:29] Lorrel: It’s such a big topic and they’re so interrelated and the most successful, person online-tt doesn’t matter. The most successful experts will not be because of your expertise. It will be because of how you’re able to market. The most successful expert will be the most successful marketer in your field. That’s how it is.
And hey, and when we talk client attraction like that, who’s your avatar? Isn’t that the most unsexy as part of our business, like it’s people are so resistant to doing it because it’s really is a deep dive. And, I learned this so well because it was where I struggled because as a therapist wanting to attract more clients, I used to do the tradeshow circuit. Well, nothing could be harder than that because you only have how many seconds to impress upon people.
And my course back then, over a decade ago, was a $4,000 price tag on it, and I was successful at it, but it was so exhausting. So, when I started working with my students who are learning the therapy…” I want to learn what you do, traveling the world, do it,” blah, blah, blah. You know, that laptop lifestyle. Well, it was because I already had a lot of business experience. I called it my “earn while I learn” because I was doing what I love.
Ellen: That’s what you have to do…earn while you learn, yeah.
[6:07] Lorrel: Live in business write-off,; figure out how to do that. And, so what I learned through working with therapists that were learning this was, I would spend so much time with them on the business-building part of it. And then when I’d follow up with them, they’d say, “Oh, well, that didn’t resonate with me.” I was like, “Well let’s…” And I realized that they were still in that mode of learning the therapy, which was very much a deep self-healing therapy.
That’s where I saw how what was going on in their personal life was affecting the business life. So, when I switched to working with entrepreneurs, it was, they just say, “Well, just tell me what to do.”
Lorrel: Right? They roll up their sleeves, they dive in and it’s like, “Oh, okay.” So, I have a body-mind business, or then business approach, because most entrepreneurs put what’s important-their self-care on the back burner.
And I learned firsthand through that busy career, and the memory loss, and the weight gain, and the hormone imbalance, and all of these other things that led to a critical diagnosis that if I hadn’t changed what I did, I wouldn’t be here. But what does that look like for people? So I say mindset doesn’t work. Not unless you put it to action. Exactly what you described Ellen, because the talk therapy is beneficial to a degree to get the mind thinking.
[7:48] I always say the planting the seeds, but you have to put it to action in your body. So, identifying who you want to work with is critical for your joy, your happiness, your fulfillment in business. And so taking that deep dive is so worth it because when you do that, you remove the selling completely out of the equation.
You’ll never sell again. And you identify… you can see from a glance who is your ideal client if you get that specific at it. But our friends and our family are not our ideal clients. They love and support us, but we often put that pressure in those relationships. And I used to do that in real estate. It’s like, “Well, why didn’t they go with me?” and blah, blah, blah. And then they feel sorry, and all that stuff.
And then when I realized that there’s two parts to it, identifying that I hadn’t prepared myself; I wasn’t ready with the follow-up. And today it looks like lead magnets and so on, landing pages, and having a place for people to go; you have to have that ready. But the other part of it is speaking to your ideal client because when you do, they will self-identify.
[9:06] They will know from the title of the book that “This is for me”, also credit card in hand that I don’t care how much it is. Money’s not the obstacle cause you’ve solved that problem. Yeah, so… and going forward in this time, since we’ve come through this big isolation period, it’s more important than ever. And when doesn’t matter where you are on your journey of being out there, what this time brought forward is that doesn’t…anything that you’re doing in business is about being seen online. So, it doesn’t mean that you personally have to do lives. Cause I know that really freaks people out,
Ellen: Not my favorite. Yeah.
[10:00] Lorrel: Yeah. But it’s about having your message seen and heard out there because the greatest injustice you will do to yourself and those who are looking for you right now is that you don’t get your message out there. And this is what happens with so many people to the freaking out over putting their message out there is that it ends up being only stuck in your mind.
Ellen: Right. But here’s the thing about that. You can put your message out there and still not get back what you think you should get back. And you and I were talking a little bit about this before we got on the call. I was telling you that right now I’m been working with somebody and he took my YouTube channel from eighteen hours of people watching it-I’ve kind of given up on it to
as of right now, we’re at over a thousand hours of viewing. And so, if you don’t know how to do something and it’s not working, it doesn’t mean give up, it means get more help. It means find a coach who’s done what you’re trying to do. And I mean, that’s not always easy. This fell into my lap where I was actually in a networking group with somebody- she turned me on to this person. And that’s the importance of networking.
It’s like, if you network with the right people and you put yourself out there and then people recommend other people, you’re most likely going to find the right people a lot faster than you just trying to find the right people.
[11:34] Lorrel: Yeah. You’re so right on that. And you know, the thing is that it’s all of these moving parts that are part of being seen and heard online. I’ll use the example of course creators or the book. It’s about writing that book that you want everybody to see, but you just write the book and expect it to lift off the shelves. So, the truth is that if you walk into Barnes and Noble, 500 of those top books only ever sell a hundred.
Ellen: And they’re sitting on the table when you walk in. Right?
Lorrel: Yeah. Right? So there’s…
Ellen: Product placement. Yeah.
[12:14] Lorrel: Yeah. It’s right. You’re right. It’s the proper placement. And it’s about SEO optimization is actually what you’re speaking about. And it’s about, it still comes back to having the right language. So when I talk client attraction, are you attracting or repelling? How do you know? And that process of identifying who your ideal client teaches you the right language. And it really comes down to you having in your business for your business and for your book, having written your own heroes or heroines journey because every great movie, every great book is structured around that same. And when you write your own heroine’s journey…
Ellen: Well, tell them what a heroine’s journey is.
[13:05] Lorrel: Okay. So it’s where basically it’s about where you’ve been, your low points, your high points, it’s your journey of making your great comeback. And it’s so important in the structure of your book, but also in your message online so that people connect with you.
Ellen: Right. And here’s the thing about that? Like what do you do when you’re first starting? Right? And you feel like you don’t have a hero’s journey in that journey, you know, cause what happened… I was working with a client and she actually had clients, but she was telling her story from really the middle of the story and not realizing that her story started long before she started her coaching business. Right? So, it can be something else from your life. It doesn’t necessarily have to start from the beginning of your coaching or whatever it is you’re doing, because you may not have a story with that yet.
[14:08] Lorrel: Yeah. Well, I use the heroine’s journey actually from my therapy practice. It wasn’t called that when I was doing therapy, but it evolved into that because in life where you get you’re wanting to go, comes from where you’ve been. So if you write that heroine’s journey, you’ll understand your vision for where it is that you want to go at a higher level. So, when you write your heroine’s journey, as a business coach, that’s where I start.
And it’s always, here’s the thing. I can always tell who hasn’t written their heroine’s journey because they talk it from all of those different places. They interject it in their conversations with people. And it actually becomes a pattern interrupt that when you write it that first time, I resisted writing mine because I’d done so much healing wor in my life that I was like, “I don’t want to go back there.”
But what was happening was I was telling everybody my story, and I needed a place to release it. So actually in the therapy, it became something that we did a ceremony around, a releasing ceremony, because it’s true that those parts of your heroine’s journey is the highs and the lows are what for you at a physical level. It’s how you flesh out.
And it can be that face that mom says, “Don’t make that face because when you make that face, oh, when you don’t like something, or when you’re sad or when you’re happy, actually more so way, you’re frightened that you do carry that face through the rest of your life.” So, my therapy practice was focused around showing people how to release that face at a cellular level.
[16:08] You have it in your body and through your heroine’s journey, it becomes a very powerful therapy that you do for yourself. And then for your future self, by eliminating the words. So the first times, I’ll say times, because when you read it the first time, it’s a great, big emotional dump. And then when you go back and you write it again, I love delete. This is like,”No, I’m not putting no, I don’t have to.”
When I write my heroine’s journey, now it is exactly like you say, Ellen, it’s from, depending on the audience that I’m talking to and the point that I’m making, I can come in with that story, that emotional part of that story to show them, I understand, because this is where I was exactly where you are right now. And this is where I got to, and then you can bring them down to that.
[17:00] But then this setback happened because I didn’t see this coming. And so this is how I pulled myself out of it. And that’s where I am today. So, it is very powerful. And it’s an integral part to finding the copy that you need for your book. It has everything to do with optimization because of the tagging and SEO, the words and understanding that ideal client because your ideal client is generally just a step behind where you’ve been. So, you understand those words that are pertinent to them and that’s how you can draw them out.
[17:40] Ellen: Yeah. The thing I also want to say about it, this is not, like you said, you know, more than once, you’re going to write it more than once. And, I was telling you before we got on this call, that, I went on a real, focused learning jag in 2020, and even into 2021. And I just kept writing and rewriting the story and who I help and how I help them and just all the different pieces that… and plus I was rebranding in the sense that I was going from my signature bootcamp to turning it into an evergreen. So, it’s changing slightly in the way that I present it. And then I had to come up with a new name. And so now, how am I going to talk about it and all that?
But the main thing that I want people to understand is it is I’m not going to lie, It’s hard work because you have to do it over and over and over. And I can’t tell you how many posts that I have responded to where they said, “What do you do?” And each time I would write it a little bit differently. And then I would see how I felt about that. I would see how other people responded to it.
The ones where I got good feedback, I would copy them. I have them in my phone and I would go back and look at them and say, “Okay, can I reuse one of these or do I still need to keep going on this?” And just rewriting and rewriting and rewriting and rewriting. And then each time, I would learn more about myself.
“Oh, I want to do it again because now I have something else that I want to say,” you know?
[19:18] Ellen: Or, maybe it’s okay, well, who are you going to focus on? Like, I was taking this ad class-paid ads. And they were saying, “You don’t want to be creating ads for all these different avatars, because it’s going to be too expensive. You want to have one that really works. So, which one of your avatars are you going to focus on?”
So, that made me had to focus even more. “Okay? Who is the one that I can help, that I can help the longest?” was really what I was looking at. You know, that I could help the longest and that I could help the most and all that. So, every time you get a new piece of information, every time you rewrite, you get more clarity, you get better at what you do. But one of the things you and I were both saying is it’s about staying in the game.
[20:10] Lorrel: Yeah. Well, you touched on some really great points there and you know, with client attraction here’s one thing- it’s a constant. I serve more than one person. I don’t want to eliminate these other people. And it’s counterintuitive to what we believe. I know it to be true and how it worked in my life. And again, that’s why it was such an uncomfortable place for me because my teachers told me, “Well, anybody with a body,” and that is the spaghetti method-everybody, but that’s true, everybody would benefit. I’m sure to some level, but in that moment, who do you want to work with? Because when you speak to that one specific, then those that actually are not as committed as the clients. They will still hear that message.
And it is planting seeds because at any given time, your ideal clients are at different places in their life. And it doesn’t mean that they’re not going to enlist with you or purchase from you. It’s just that right now they’re not ready for you. So, if you’re consistent in your message and yeah, that’s the other thing is that when we say, “Oh, it’s this ideal client… say, you’re at the beginning of your journey and it’s like, okay, this is what it all looks like. I guarantee if you’re launching them into a program, by the time you’re done that program, you’re done with that ideal client because you grew up exactly what you said, you’ve grown. So, that’s the beauty of being an entrepreneur, being the boss of your business is that you get to change. You get to change, evolve, and add more value.
[22:04] Ellen: Well, something you just said, people always need accountability though. Even when you’ve helped them do all the different things for people to stay on track, we all still need accountability.
Lorrel: Yeah, yeah, for sure. I started with my first coach. I got my first accountability partner. I still have that same accountability date [8:00] AM, Monday mornings. Sometimes, I’m the only one there. But I still show up for me and having a great structure around that accountability. It’s like mindset. If you don’t speak it, if you don’t act it, nothing and put it to action, nothing’s going to happen.
So, I show up whether nobody else does.
I’ve had many over the years, many just disappear. That’s not any reflection on me. So, I say to your audience, if the one thing that you did for yourself was create an accountability partner and it’s not a BITCH session. It’s very structured. Pick somebody who you really aren’t necessarily connected to.
I say, two is a good number. It’s a fifteen-minute call. You get on, someone goes five minutes, their accountability, the next one goes and says their accountability. Try to pick three things that you’re going to accomplish in the week. And then you have your little chit-chat, but if you turn it into much longer than fifteen, twenty minutes, it turns into that complaining session. So, keep it positive.
And then the next week… you just carry on from there as I’ve never kept track of what it is that I do. Cause I do a lot of things. I really am. I focused on completing, that’s my spiritual work to what I complete, in this life, what I complete in this moment. So, I apply that to my work. “What can I complete this week? “
B ut we’ve had people over time where they write everything down and keep track of it. That’s great. I generally always have more than three things in a week, but I make it the three things that I’m challenging myself with. So, I hope that serves, serves your audience. Yeah.
[24:31] Ellen: Yeah. I found what’s really helping me is this Forward Focus, what’s it called? Full Focus Planner from a Michael Hyatt. And I learned about this. I knew about it before, but I really got serious. I listening to Amy Porterfield. She swore by it,
Lorrel: I love her that I’ve taken her courses too. We’re of course junkies. So, like that’s when you’re a student of life, a lifelong student, I said to my husband years ago, I said, “Can we just have this discussion and agree that there’s never going to be a last course.”
Ellen: Well, I call myself a recovering learning addict. because I spent, like I said, I spent a year and a half a year, nine months almost. Yeah, I’m still doing it a little bit, but not as much as I was, but I just focused on learning so much. I really didn’t even work last year much.
Lorrel: I, I learn it and then, I go on.
Ellen: You have to learn it and implement it.
Lorrel: Yeah. I usually become a teacher of it. I didn’t realize that was kind of a thing, but that’s really served me. Cause that’s my accountability, often things it’s just like having a yoga practice. Wow. It’s really different when you’re teaching it. But I didn’t plan to be a teacher of it. I just knew that the yoga was feeling really good, and I just wanted more. And then did the 200 hour, did the 300 hour,
Ellen: And all of a sudden you’re an expert.
Lorrel: Well, it’s, you know what, it’s accountability because I wouldn’t do it for me, but it’s like, I’m accountable to my students. And so that’s that relationship helps
Ellen: That helps you grow too, being accountable to your students? Yeah,
Lorrel: Yeah. That’s what I, that’s what I learned in psychosomatic therapy with that when I’m when I’m doing that when I’m teaching that I’m actually doing that therapy on me. Cause I’m reminding me to be that best version of me. So, my first yoga teacher, I could actually…
[26:37] Ellen: I’m going to have to cut you off because we’re kind of coming up on the hour here. So, well, it’s not an hour podcast, but we yaked so long before we got started. So, let me ask you, do you have any final tips for people, how they can integrate the mind and body so that their businesses work better and they attract more clients?
Lorrel: Absolutely. I always say body, mind, and business, because becoming aware in the body is where you’re going to be able to feel that connection with others. And even if you’re on Zoom calls. So connect with them eye to eye, which truly is soul to soul, and come with a willingness to learn about others, especially with this networking environment we’re in.
Listen more than you talk because in the listening is where you’re really going to get the gold nuggets. You’re going to hear in that space, what it is that they really need ask them what they need, come with the intention to really serve from a place of “How can I serve?” Don’t tell them, let them tell you and they will feel like you’ve really given them something different than what’s happening out there, where everybody’s talking at them.
Ellen: Yeah. Well, how do you do eye to eye though? It’s like, if I’m actually looking at you when people see this, it won’t look eye to eye will it?
Lorrel: I’ll give you an insider’s tool. I don’t believe in tricking people strategy. So, I actually minimize my screen, especially on a Zoom call. And even if there are many on the Zoom call, I bring it together and I focus on the people below the camera. So, it feels, so it looks like I am looking at you.
Ellen: Oh, I thought you were supposed to look up at the camera. No?
Lorrel: , It could be. I’m focused at that spot towards the camera. I find that kind of mesmerizing in my eye. So, cause I’m very much a visual person. I do want to connect with people, so I’m not solid. I can tell when people are looking over this out,
I’ll share this other tip too-it’s fine. If you read from a script, but learn your script well enough so that people don’t feel that because I can see when you’re reading, I can also see when you’re on your phone. It’s be there, be there for your people. And we started doing this with our family, and I’m so glad I did with my ninety-plus years Mother-in-law because she had us every day soul to soul before she passed. So…
[29:29] Ellen: What was I going to say? First of all, I want to say journaling can help you get in touch with your feelings. And also like, sometimes, if I just get really frustrated, I start to get that tension in my neck and sometimes, my husband will give me a massage, but hitting the pillows is great for frustration, especially tech frustration,
Lorrel: I have the boogie mats out on the floor all the time, I could turn the camera, the yoga mats there, body when that’s going on we’re in our heads, so we got to embody it.
[30:06] Ellen: Yeah, get back in the body. Yeah. Yeah. So, how can people reach you?
Lorrel: Yeah, well, I’m certainly on social media. I’ll leave you with a link, Google “Client Attraction Queen.” You’ll find me. And, I have many, many sessions that people can connect with me. I’m glad to hop on a call and just learn more about you too.
Ellen: Okay. Well, that is awesome. Yeah. Like I said, at the beginning, I’m just really a proponent of this because your health is important. And I have had trouble at times, a lot of times how getting in touch with what I’m really feeling and what I’m really wanting. And so, I have found all these things to be really helpful. And if you want to be successful, you have to be able to get emotions and everything under control. So…right?.
Lorrel: Well, thank you so much, Ellen, for inviting me today.
Ellen: Oh you’re very welcome.
Lorrel: I hope I’ve served your people.
Ellen: I love your hair. I think it’s awesome. And I love your background. Yeah.
Lorrel: Thanks so much. Yeah. That’s all-important.
Ellen: Yeah. Yeah. It is. It is. We’re still working on it over here. Cause we moved. We’re still working on it, but I did get my Grammy up; it’s over there in the corner.
Lorrel: I see a good, good stuff. You know, the flowers are part of a ritual. I took the pressure off my husband years ago because say I just do that for me. So, there’s so fragrant and so, so wonderful. And it’s so create those daily rituals that fill you up.
Ellen: Well, that’s an important point to do something for you every day. I didn’t do that for a long time. And boy, it made a big difference when I did so anyway. Okay. Well, that’s it for today to get the transcript, go to booksopendoors.com/podcast If you’re new to the podcast, be sure to pick up your Rockstar Author’s Toolkit. It’s on our website at booksopendoors.com. There’s some checklists and a guide to help you, whether you want help writing or marketing. So, that is it for now till next time bye-bye.
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