In this episode, Joie Gharrity, shares how she got engaged, got married in her fifties, moved to the city of her dreams, ramped up her keynoting and speaking and grew her business in a big way in just one year by zeroing in on what she learned from superstars in Hollywood and how you can too!
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3 Key Points
Visibility and influence are the most important part of the ingredient when you’re building your business or in your j-o-b because it’s directly linked to your earning power and the kind of opportunities that are going to come your way.
It is your birthright to stand in your unique spotlight.
To achieve more, you must increase your ability to accept love in your life.
Hi everybody, and welcome to Episode 43. Today, I have a very special guest, my friend and colleague, Joie Gharrity. Joie Garrity is the founder of 113 Branding Digital Marketing Studio and is a brand director, livestream host, author, and international speaker. And she’s worked in the Hollywood entertainment industry for fifteen-plus years at top companies in film, television, original web content and branded media. And she was handpicked by the ABC studio president to launch the first multimedia startup business for the Walt Disney Company.
She works with entrepreneurs and creative types to leverage their expertise, gifts, and talents with a clear, strategic roadmap to paying customers and attract lucrative opportunities and financial abundance. Joie does this through a unique, tested, and proven framework of digital content that gains their brand visibility and influence that elevates her clients to superstar status in the marketplace.
And she is the author of the Red-Carpet Guide to Visibility and Influence. And she has also been a consultant to me when I did (published) the book, Inside Game, and it was tied to a movie.
So Joie, welcome to the call. Thank you for having me, Ellen. I so appreciate that.
Ellen: Well, if people have been listening from the beginning, they would know that Joie interviewed me on the very first podcast.
[2:37] Joie: Fun, it was a good time.
Ellen: And Joie and I have known each other for a few years now, and we’ve become really good friends, and we had to actually stop talking to start this podcast.
Joie: Yes. So, Ellen has so much value. I always am like, tell me more. Tell me, you’ve always got so many great resources and information. So yeah.
Ellen: Thanks. Well, you know, I love you. So, why don’t you tell us more about you and your story.
Joie: Sure. So, I was actually an influencer in the Bay Area, brought me down to Hollywood and his brother and family are Hollywood insiders and that’s how I got my start. And then, my first movie I ever worked on was Stargate. And then, my next movie was Independence Day, and then I went on and on from there.
And so, I got bit by the Hollywood bug, and I made it my career for over 15+plus years. I ended up at the Walt Disney company and the studio ABC studio president handpicked me and we started the multimedia division. Then, I got bit by the internet bug. I was so passionate, and I saw a freedom flag beyond any freedom flag I’ve ever seen before where I knew that this was where I was going to be heading. So, since then, I’ve really become a digital girl who embraces everything digital and also to, on the ground too, I also keynote, and you and I have a huge love for books, clearly.
Joie: So, becoming an author actually was probably one of the biggest game changers of my life and my career.
[4:00] Ellen: Well, isn’t that actually how we met? Because I think you reached out to me.
Joie: I did. I asked you to review my book.
Joie: And I was freaking out. All the people I asked, I was freaking out, and then I got your review and I was like, “Okay.” I felt really good cause I was just like, Ellen said this about it that I feel really good about this book, cause I knew I’ve been in the industry forever.
Joie: So, that took a lot of courage actually. I really had to lean in to ask you.
[04:29] Ellen: Yeah. But it was so funny to me because you’re just sitting here, like me, I’m just sitting here doing my thing going, “Oh okay. Yeah. It’s like no big deal.” So, but we were talking about that earlier before we got on the call. How, like you don’t know how you’re impacting people or how people are reacting to you. So, it’s always interesting.
Joie: Now my passion and my life purpose is to help the mass market to gain visibility and influence because I learned down there from my mentors, like how that’s the most important part of the ingredient when you’re building your business, or you’re an entrepreneur, or even if you’re in j-o-b because it’s directly linked to your earning power and the kind of opportunities that are going to come your way. So, that’s a big passion point of mine.
[05:13] Ellen: Yeah, mine too. I mean a book gives you more visibility and influence too. So yeah, there’s so many things that you can do. I think the main thing people have to realize is they need to figure out like a plan for themselves and then focus on one thing at a time and just not try to do everything. I think that’s the mistake people make.
[05:32] Joie: Yeah. And I think it’s also, too, I’m talking about this in my first book. In my second book that we’ll be launching this year, it’s called, “Be Your Own Superstar.” And I’m talking about how we all really do have a life purpose. It’s just that many of us have forgotten what it was or you moved away from it because of life situations. And when you get back in alignment with that, your visibility and your influence will come easier. It won’t be so uphill all the time, right? Because you’re doing what you love. You actually were born to do it. And I go as far as the same that this is literally your birthright. So, there’s that component.
And then, the second component I’m really passionate about is explaining to people that working with superstars taught me the importance of being able to accept and receive massive amounts of love. And that’s the other side of the coin to the visibility-influence piece. So, for instance, like I was around Katy Perry or Jessica Parker, Will Smith, many other superstars. And what I realized about them is they all have this common trait; yes, they’re all talented in their own. right, but not always necessarily more talented than anyone else, but it’s just that they can take in massive amounts of attention and massive amounts of love, which I coined the “love bucket”.
[06:49] Ellen: Yeah, and a really good story about that is Brad Pitt, because I heard him talk about how he couldn’t handle it in the late nineties or whenever, and he started to withdraw, and I think he got into drugs at that time and it’s like, yeah, you have to be able to handle it.
[07:04] Joie: You do. And every single person on the globe, as we’re leaning into the purpose and really getting the visibility influence up, we need to be working on our internal love-bucket capacity simultaneously. What I’m sharing out there is shame and guilt, regret, all these things are taking up precious capacity, and we want to start moving that out so that we have more capacity to take in all these opportunities, and love, and admiration, and respect, and honor from other people out there because that’s really is our birthright. But we’re not taught in society how to take in massive amounts of love. We’re taught how to take a massive amount of rejection.
Joie: There are two different sides to it. And I’m saying that that’s actually the backdoor and the front door to making people’s dreams come to full fruition is to, identify your purpose, get that visibility and influence, get out of the shadows, right? Share it out in the marketplace with the world, and then be growing your capacity to take in and accept everything that comes along with that.
[08:18] Ellen: Yeah, and part of why I wanted to have you on is I hear people talk about, and I’ve interviewed other people talking about using your gifts and all that, but what nobody talked about and what got me so excited when you first told me that this was the book you were working on was the love side. I hadn’t heard anybody talk about that side, that it’s not just going for it, but it’s then how do you deal with it?
[08:41] Joie: Yeah. I have an article that’s rolling around out there. It’s about Oprah Winfrey, and it’s not about Oprah Winfrey’s success, it’s about that she’s worth: $2.1 billion now. And what I’m saying is in order for one person to be worth that type of wealth, what kind of capacity, Internal capacity, must she have to keep rocking and rolling for herself, right? It’s not that she wakes up every day, it was just like in the next year, she’ll be worth $2.2 and then $2.3 I’m asking people to quit focusing on the outcome. Like, “Oh, I want a mansion and I want a Mercedes.” You know, all these things. I’m saying that’s the backdoor. Instead be working on the capacity to be able to accept and receive a mansion.
Ellen: And so, how do people do that?
Joie: So, I have a series of tools that I utilize with myself and my clients. One of them I’d love to share with the audience right now.
Joie: it’s one of my favorite tools. And so, what I do every single morning and encourage my clients to do is that I have them go to YouTube and find an applause video where people are cheering.
[09:53] Joie: Right? And then, I have them set their iPhone or their Android alarm for five minutes.
Ellen: I love this. Yeah.
Joie: Then, I have them turn on the applause, so, people are cheering. And I have them visualizing walking into a huge stadium, and then visualizing everyone in there cheering and screaming for them. As that’s happening, I have them set an intention and share it with the crowd with hundreds of thousands of people in the stadium, and then everyone’s sharing that intention for and behalf of them.
The reason I do it, Ellen, is because it’s incredibly uncomfortable, and it was for me at first and for my clients to have, there’s constant cheering mode happening as they’re divulging their dreams. But with time, even when I’m not doing the visualization, during the day, I can hear cheering going on as I am coming up against them if I’m coming against a bump or a hiccup in the road I can hear it going on and it helps to elevate me in order to elevate above whatever’s going on.
[11:04] Ellen: That’s fantastic.
Joie: Because everyone is a superstar sister, and you and I both believe that to the core. I believe that every person globally is their own superstar.
Ellen: Yeah. And I have to tell you that Joie came to me and started ragging on me at one point. “You don’t promote yourself enough. You don’t blow your own horn enough”. And she really pushed me; she really pushed me to own it.
And it’s really important. It is.
Joie: And how many years have you been doing what you’re doing, sister?
Ellen: Over fifteen (years). I started in 2004.
Joie: Okay. So, this isn’t Ellen’s first rodeo. And this is why I was so passionate about this because I have read your books and I watch all of your, she was doing lives all the time.
[11:53] Joie: I was watching every single live, and I’m part of her group. It goes on and on. And I was in there going, “Wow, this fountain of huge diamonds and great value. Everyone’s got to know about her.” But however, it is very ingrained in us to stay in the shadows. But that’s the secret sauce is that the superstars, again, cause they’re all talented, but so are you, so am I, right? So is everyone that’s listening. Every single person’s is talented. It just that they understand that they’ve got to turn up the spotlight. It’s just share the gifts and talents, and they’re working on their internal capacity to take all this love that’s coming at them.
I mean think about that. A star walks in any restaurant was like, “I love you, I love you, I love you, I love you.” You want to see what a star gets for their birthday? It would blow your mind. They don’t even have a big enough house for all the presents that show from strangers, but to say with grace and just say, “Thank you and accept it” and lean in. That’s what I’m teaching them. Master the masses’ marketplace. That’s my purpose.
[13:02] Ellen: You know, it’s really interesting cause I just saw a post on Facebook where it was saying “The most miserable stars in Hollywood” or something, and it was saying how rude they are in real life, well, growing up in LA, I’ve grown up around stars my whole life.
You know, you see them in the market, you see them everywhere. And one time, Christen and I were in Beverly Hills, and we were standing next to Johnny Carson on a street corner
Joie: So cool.
Ellen: And all of a sudden, these tourists went into the middle of the street, and looked at him, and started taking pictures of him like he was in a zoo, you know? And he started running away like he was a rabbit, and we were horrified. But it’s like you understand why stars get like that.
[13:47]: Joie: Those are extremes. Like I always tell people these are high-level problems.
[13:50] Ellen: Yeah. I think some handle it better than others.
[13:52] Joie: I tell you, Sarah Jessica Parker, you’re not going to meet someone that’s more lovely than Sarah. You know? She’s just always so gracious. She’s always so kind because she understands it’s a journey.
Joie: It’s a journey to get to where you’re going. And however, I have people say to me, “Well, I don’t want to be that public and I’m like again, I tell everyone I said, “This isn’t about people magazine. Okay? This is about earning power. This is about opportunities. This is about your dreams coming to full fruition.” When your love-bucket capacity isn’t as big as the dream fruition, that’s why you keep hitting, what people are calling “the glass ceiling”.
Ellen: Hitting the wall.
Joie: “They’re not working hard enough or you don’t want to badly.” It’s because there’s not enough capacity in some of the capacities being taken up by anxiety, worry, blame, shame, guilt, all these things that were taught.
[14:48] Joie: Society teaches that really, really well. And I want people to replace all that with love. It will boggle your mind if you practice this for one year and you are courageous, and determined, and you stay the course, right? You follow the tool I just gave you. There’re other tools you can find from me online at 113branding.com. You do this, your life will change and you will look back and say, “How did all that happen?” I’m saying because you grew your love capacity.
Ellen: So, how did you not tell me this before?
Joie: I did. I called you three weeks again and I was so excited, and said, “Just like grow your capacity” cause I’m such a huge fan of yours, Ellen. There was a handful of people that I called and every one of them was just like, “When’s this book coming out?”
Ellen: Yeah. I was like, “Oh my God, that’s amazing!”
[15:39] Joie: Yeah, at the end of this year. I put this in [inaudible] I don’t do anything that I don’t walk my talk. Right, right, right. But I beta tested this last year, and one year I got engaged. I got married, which by the way, I’m in my fifties, so people say this is like unicorns, right? He doesn’t have kids either, which is strange. But any way, we moved to this area that I’ve been wanting to move to forever, Belmont area., San Matteo. I love this area. We moved and my keynoting, my speaking started again, everything just went that chchchchchc, that big. And the year before I did have a couple of close friends die, pass away, and it was taking up a bunch of my capacity because of the sorrow and sadness, and it was like moving a boulder. And usually, things in my company would go really well (snapping her fingers). So, I was able to connect the dots, and that’s really what propelled me to restudying the stars again, and I was connecting the dots, and I was like, “OMG, this is the real secret sauce!”
So, people were talking about this idea of just visualize it. I said everyone watched the secret. People are assuming they’re visualizing all day long, but the element that was missing, in my opinion, is that their capacity doesn’t match the vision.
[17:09] Ellen: Right. So, one of the things I’ve heard people say who are REALLY successful is they had somebody in their life who told them they could do anything they put their mind to, but not everybody has that. Do you have any tips or any strategies for people who didn’t get that?
Joie: Yeah, I mean, I would say like 95% of the population. (Laughing) Some people just had that, that’s how they got back to it early. The purpose really, I call it getting back to your “it” factor. Yeah. My daily habits are absolutely what keeps the love vessel growing but also keeps the vision and the dreams becoming more into full fruition. And so, I always tell people is pick whatever’s right for you. I’m not here to tell anyone what’s right or wrong, but I’ll just tell you for me, meditation; I do a full-blown meditation before I do the cheering meditation in the morning. I read every morning, like Ellen, I do affirmations that are out loud; I do them in the mirror, I work out, you know there’s these consistencies, and I’m a huge fan of Miracle Morning. If anyone hasn’t looked at these, try it.
[18:29] Ellen: I did the book, Niche Down for Christopher, Lockheed. We published that book, and I think I edited it too. Yeah, I edited it. We published it, and we made it a #1 bestseller, and one of the interviews that he has is with the author.
Ellen: Yeah, so if people are into that, that’s another place they can go. That was a really good interview.
Joie: I know I went and looked at that book because you told me that you worked with them and stuff. I was like, “Cool.” Yes. So that’s, that’s one way. But the other thing too is you’ve got to make up your mind, right?
[19:07] Joie: Two years ago, when I was like, everything just felt like a mountain and it just a boulder, I literally had to sit down with myself, and I was just like, “This is not making me happy.” So, when I made up my mind to cross the bridge again, and to get back to all this, that meant that I had to get back into my very intense disciplines.
Joie: Right? Because right now with everything going on.
Ellen: It’s crazy.
Joie: It’s crazy. It’s so easy to get away from disciplines, but I’m encouraging people to even more right now, to lean even deeper and harder onto the disciplines.
Ellen: Yeah. I have to, I wouldn’t get out of bed if I didn’t.
Joie: I know, no one wants to, everyone just wants to sleep. Well, we’re all exhausted by it. Right? We want to overeat, we want to sleep, we want an escap-ism. And so, I’m like, well, let’s escapism into the habits, the daily habits.
Joie: Again, I’m going to encourage people when they say yes, that they have to get visible and get out of the shadows. You’ve got to start sharing your gifts and talents out there. Be courageous, like reach out to people that you admire like I did with Ellen. Have her read your book, talk about your talents and gifts.
[20:25] Ellen: No, no, no, don’t tell people to send me their books, please.
Joie: No, no, no, don’t send Ellen. Work with Ellen.
Ellen: Right, right.
Joie: That an example.
Ellen: I know I just, I feel bad cause I’m realizing as I get busier and busier I have more and more people doing that, and then it’s like, “Oh God, what do I say?” I don’t have time to read all these books!”
Joie: I’m sure you get a ton of books.
Ellen: Yeah, I do.
[20:46] Joie; But being openly sharing what you do, see in the movie business and blockbusters. It takes us two years to make a blockbuster to become a blockbuster because we start talking about the movie two years before it comes out, it releases. So, I’m telling everyone that too. And they said, “Well I haven’t done…” I said, “But you have done some things that you can be talking about those wins right now. You have done things, it’s just that you want to leave them in the past or you don’t have the capacity to hold it.” Right?
[21:19] Ellen: Right. Well, I don’t know if you saw the last Facebook live that I did because I did one recently, and it was about showing up and perfectionism
Joie: And little miss perfect.
Ellen: Yeah. Yeah. And I realized that I had been hiding more again and that for me, I mean I’m a writer, writers hide. That is what writers love to hide. We love to just go into our words, you know? in our little space, and our little typewriter or computer, whatever. And I realize that like you said, I realized I was not making myself happy doing that. But I was also struggling with that part of me that just did not want to show up. I just didn’t want to show up. And it was like a catch 22 because I wasn’t happy. I didn’t want to show up because I wasn’t happy, and I wasn’t that happy because I wasn’t showing up. I was like, “Oh my God.”
[22:12] Joie: Our internal ego doesn’t want us to show up, right? They want us to stay in the shadows. They want us to keep toiling on the craft itself, but not sharing as we’re toiling. You see?
Ellen: Well, I think it’s also the fear of rejection. That’s what I get from my clients a lot. It’s like, “Well I’m afraid to put it out there. What are people going to think? Oh my God, what if it fails?” You know, all that sort of thing.
[22:38] Joie: Well I’m going to turn that on its head, and I’m going to say, I don’t think it’s the fear of rejection.
Ellen: I know a lot of people think that but it’s success.
Joie: Love, yeah, it’s all the love they’re going to get. Because when people talk about you, like when you wake up in the morning almost on a given day, someone is talking about me, mostly good, actually. People blogging about me, I’m being interviewed all the time. Things like that. When you wake up in a given day and you see your name, like name lights on social media and someone’s just like, “Oh my God, she helped changed my life,” or whatever it is. It takes practice like a muscle to be able to handle all that.
Joie: So, what I was saying to everyone out there, is rejection is a piece of it. But it’s really about all the love that you’re going to receive because people are going to see you.
Ellen: And I want to tell people, you need to get with Joie because I’m way better at accepting love now than I was before I met you, for sure.
Joie: She’s doing live. She’s got this killer group. She’s like sharing the book she’s been working, the movie-the book that you worked on that was part of a movie. You were all over that. Loved that by the way. That was fun.
[23:50] Ellen: I didn’t tell you. I actually was in the market, and I’m standing in line and this guy’s behind me and Christen, and for some reason, oh, I think he dropped something, and people were trying to help him. But anyway, we started talking, and he’s telling me how upset he was because it was his birthday coming up and his best friend was coming in, and they were supposed to go to a basketball game, and it got canceled. And he was so upset, and so basketball, hey, that’s my thing with this book, so, I said to him, “Were you familiar with the NBA scandal?” And he goes, “Oh yeah,” and the referee and all that. So yeah. I said, “I’ve talked to him because I did talk to him, he called me, and I said, but I actually worked on the book for one of the other guys that was part of that.
[23:44] He said,” Oh, what’s the name of the book? and everything. And I told him, and he said, “Oh, I’m going to go get the book,” you know?
Joie: Really cool.
Ellen: Yeah. So…
Joie: So, here’s a teachable gig here. Ellen could have just stayed quiet.
Joie: And not said a word, right? because she didn’t want to brag or she didn’t want to, “You know, I don’t want to bother people.” And I’m like, “No, we’re here to connect the dots for each other, and now he went and got the book, and to him, it was exciting. It’s fun.”
[25:01] Ellen: But you know what? To me, it wasn’t that I was bragging about me. It was like, “Oh, I’m going to make a sale for my client.” That was kind of how I looked at it. And I think part of how I’ve been able to show up better is by getting out of the ego, thinking about, “Well, what’s in it for me?”
Or, “What am I going to get out of this?” versus “I don’t want to die with all this wisdom in me because I’m older, or because I’m concerned about how people are looking at me,” or you know, all that kind of stuff. I mean, when I was growing up, there was so much crap about perfectionism, and women and looking pretty, and not only looking pretty, but in those days, it was you had to be blonde, and you had to have straight hair, and you had to have a Playboy bunny (figure) but then you had to be brilliant too. But then, you had to not use your brilliance because you had to get married. It’s crazymaking, especially if you wanted to have more than that.
[25:50] But the thing was I really had to get to that point of feeling like sharing the wisdom was more important than what I looked like. There was a time I would not go live, I would not let people see me if I didn’t have full makeup on. But the thing was I realized that if I do that, I would have to wear makeup so much, and I don’t do well with makeup, and my eyes would be all puffy all the time, and I’d be miserable, and finally, I just said, “Screw it. I’m done with that.” But it really did have to do, for me, with the wanting to appear perfect all the time, fear of making mistakes if I were live, and I couldn’t go back and, sometimes, I’m so honest and was like, “Oh my God, I wish I hadn’t said that.” (Laughing)
[26:30] Joie: I totally agree. I tell people, I always remind people, this is like you are being of service by showing up.
Joie: By sharing your gifts and talents cause you’re opening doors for others to do the same. I think that actually the selfish component to this is when people aren’t showing up.
Joie: And they’re not sharing the gifts and talents because people out there, we’re all interconnected somehow. There’s an aha moment that someone’s not getting because you’re not sharing your gifts and talents.
Ellen: But you have to make that shift in your brain to see that.
Joie: You do. (You) gotta get out of your own way. For me, every morning before I get up and before my meditations, I remind myself that I’m here to be of service here too, to open doors for others. Therefore, I don’t get to stay in the shadows today. I don’t get to hide today. And there’s days when I want to (Laugh) at a very, very deep level. But I’m like, “That’s selfish behavior.”
[27:28] Ellen: Yeah. But you know what? If you are a real introvert, like I want to tell you guys, it’s okay. Like if you start to feel overwhelmed by being out there so much,
Ellen: Take a day off, let yourself hide a little bit, and then come out again. It’s like practicing a muscle.
Joie: It is. I don’t mean once in a while because like on Sundays I’m quiet.
Ellen: Yeah. Yeah.
[27:50] Joie: But I just mean like day after day, week after week, month after month, year after year. I know there’s people out there listening right now and they’re like, “Oh,” I know they’re hearing this. And they’re like, “That’s me.”
Joie: And they keep saying “Next week.”
Joie: And I know “Next year,” and what we’re both saying here is it takes courage. We know it’s not easy, but however, you’re being of service to community, you’re being a service to your birthright. You’re being service to yourself, you’re being of service to family. You’re being service to people out there that you’ll never ever, ever hear from, “Wow, you really impacted my life.”
[28:31] Ellen: Yeah. Or, sometimes like what’ll happen to me is I hear from them years later, I get emails from somebody. I just got one the other day. “I’ve been on your list for over a decade and I’m so excited, I’m just writing my book now and I’m ready to work with you.” It’s like, Wow!
Joie: That’s beautiful, isn’t it?
Ellen: Wow, you know.
[28:49] Joie: And I just want to encourage people to give people recognition they deserve like,
Joie: Put their name in lights. Like talk about them. Ellen and I, we love spotlighting other people. Tell them, “Hey, you made an impact on my life. I want everyone to know.”
Ellen: Yeah. Well the other thing that I’ll do is if somebody asks in social media for something, and I know somebody who does that, I’ll always put their tag in there. Why not?
Joie: Absolutely. I have a saying, “There’s plenty of spotlight to go around.”
[29:16] Ellen: Yes, there is. And with that, do you have any closing tips, thoughts before we close?
Joie: Well, I just wanted to close with, I feel so strongly that it really is everyone globally’s birthright to stand in their unique spotlight and shine very bright out there.
Ellen: Okay, well that’s it for today. Thank you so much for coming on. I love you.
Joie: I love you too. Thank you so much, sister.
[29:43] Ellen: If you’re ready to write your book and you’d like to take the first step, then I want to encourage you to go to www.booksopendoors.com/questionnaire, fill that out, and that will give me some more information and then we can talk about what your topic should be and how you should figure out what to write about in what order. I was just talking to a woman actually yesterday and she was so blocked because she had all these different ideas. We put them in order so that she could do book one book to book three, book four. So, you can do that if you want, and that’s it for today. So, till next time, Bye-bye.
Next Week, My guest will be Lou Bortone and we’ll be talking about using video to grow your business.
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